Pressure

This post is a little bit all over the place.  Just read along if you wish.  :)

As a stay at home mom, of 3 boys, a wife, a teacher, cook, cleaner and all the rest, the majority of the time I feel like I am failing, failing at being a good mom/wife.

I am writing this because I have been thinking about a lot of different aspects over the last several weeks.  Not to get attention, or a pat on the back.  Just my thoughts of how things are for me.

There is a lot of pressure (as we all know) mostly, I think, from ourselves.  My husband doesn't hassle me if the floor isn't spotless, the boys {usually} don't complain about their clothes not being put away.  But, I feel like I have disappointed or let them and {mostly} myself down because I can't get it all done.  It is just impossible.  In the amount of hours of the day that I have with preparing food, 20 minutes of exercise  school, breaking up fights, or letting the boys play together because they actually aren't fighting, and all the rest, I just can't get it done.  I can't.  And because I can't get the house cleaned up, or the dishes done, or the floor cleaned up of crumbs, I feel like I am not doing my best.

I have a friend that has been living in Romania for the last 7 years working with YWAM (Youth with a Mission).  Just that alone, is amazing to me.  But, she and her team, have also started to get local kids into school, and helping share the love of God with the locals in their area.  Again, amazing.  She herself recently got married and is back in Ashland with her new husband to have a baby in July.  (Which I am SO EXCITED ABOUT!!!!)  But, she has been telling me lately that I am a super mom.  And my response is "ya right.  Nice try.  I am really anything but that."  Not the greatest reply!  Why do I feel like that?  Because of pressure.  I feel like I can't live up to my standards or yet alone any other "mom" standards!  I compare myself to other moms.  I'm not doing this like so and so, or I should be better at this like so and so.  

Today, at church during worship, the Lord was really moving over everyone.  The worship leader and Pastor encouraged us to talk to God.  To go to the alter and pray before Him if needed.  One of the first people I saw go to the alter was, the worship leaders son, who is about 13 and in 1 exact instant I started to cry.  My heart was crying and I was crying praying for my boys.  That they themselves at their currents ages, at 13, 17, 21, 30 and so on will just love the Lord and want to put Him first always!  My prayer this morning was for me to have the Lord's wisdom on how to help guide them and show them how to love the Lord.  Another area where I feel like I fail.

After the sermon, which was about being fisherman of men and serving the Lord in our every day lives, I realized {again} that my 3 sons are my ministry.  They are who I need to be encouraging in the Lord.  They are where I am needing to put my time and effort so that they do fall in love with the Lord and have their own relationships with Him.  I pray that I can do that.  I pray that they will love their youth group like I did.  I pray they will always be involved in their church.  I pray that they will continue to have friends that love the Lord and who want to also put Him first.

I think, today, I realized how scary (being a parent really is) and how easy it can be to go down the "what if" road.  What if they rebel?  What if they don't like church?  What if...blah blah blah.  BUT!  God is more powerful than all of those what ifs.  He is our awesome God who does miracles, and who can help keep His children where they need to be!  He is the mighty God who breaks strongholds!  He is an awesome God, who I know will help me do the right thing with my kiddos.

I guess that is about it for now.  :)  Hope you are enjoying your Sunday.  We are cozied up in our house as it is dumping sheets of rain on and off right now!  Crazy spring weather!

ALoHa! 

Mother's Day

These last several years I have been trying my best on Mother's Day to get a picture of myself with the kids that have made me a mama.  I have also been getting pictures of my Grandma, my mom and I together. 

I thought it would be neat to look at some of them all in a row.  (You can click on the images to make them larger). 

Mother's Day Tea.  2007

2009

 

2010

2010

 

2011

2012 (Finners in my belly!)

2012

2013

2014

2014

2014

So there ya have it.  There are a couple years that I can't find, but you get the idea. 

Hope you had a blessed Mother's Day.  Overall, mine was pretty good.  I had a very yummy lunch with my mama and Grandma, which I love doing, so that was nice. 

Been a While

Here are some pictures of what we have been up to!

March 1st. 

Just chillin' 3.19.14

Gabe is 5!  And he got Frozen!!!  We love this movie!  3.25.14

Gabe and I at his birthday breakfast.

Finners.  4.7.14

GG went out East to see the rest of our family.  So we took lunch, and watched and waited with her at the airport.  Needless to say, we ALL had a blast!!!  3.9.14

Carson is a reader now!  He read me this whole book!  He (and I) had to write a paper for Logos Charter school and out of all the 1st graders, his Leopards paper was the winner!  So proud!!!  4.10.14

Soccer season has begun.  4.12.14

4.12.14  Bunnies!

Guinea Pigs!

4.12.14

The boys and I made a Lego Resurrection scene.  Gabe gave the soldiers coffee.  They still missed Jesus being raised!  :)  4.14.14 

Our raspberry plants!  :) :) :)

Hope you enjoyed the pics! 

What EASTER is all ABOUT!!!I

A friend just posted this on Facebook.  Wow.  I know it is 12 minutes, but you will LOVE it!!!  Click on the link and watch it.  All of it!  :)

http://youtu.be/huFra1mnIVE

Brushing the Teethies

2.27.14  The Brothers brushing.  

Leading up to this picture was Carson, Gabe and myself brushing our teeth.  Finn got the stool, started yelling/grunting and trying to elbow his little self in to be part of the teeth brushing action. 

Although he doesn't use a lot of words, he gets his point across!  :)

I LOVE these guys! 

Finn Waving

The other day I spied Finn waving bye.  He has done it once in a while, but now does it on command.  :) 
I got a little video of him tonight! 

Enjoy.

Finn waving, looking for toot-toots, signing "please", and blowing a kiss!  :)

2.16.14

2.16.14

Giddy

These last couple of days I have found myself giddy over a couple of different things.  Once in a while I smell something that reminds me of a smell in the past that is just pure comfort.  I can't quite pinpoint it,  but I just "know it."  Wanting to bake something that is comforting.  Or as silly as it may sound, organizing my cook book has been all too exciting for me lately.  I have come across many recipes that I have wanted to try on Pinterest and pin them with good intentions and never get past that.  In the last week, I have printed many of those recipes and have made a handful of them.  And for some reason, right now, that is just so exciting for me!  :)

Tuesday mornings we have to get up fairly early and get going to our Classical Conversation day that meets and First Baptist, in Ashland.  The boys, all 3 of them, slept past 7:30am!  One of them if not all of them are usually up by 6:45am.  Daily.  I got all ready and was trying to figure out what I should do next.  I decided to eat my breakfast!  Duh!?  Alone.  At the kitchen table with Pandora playing.  It was a moment that was just perfect.  My egg was the same boring egg I eat every day, but sitting there in the quietness eating it alone, just made it perfect.  In the quiet.  Alone.  Did I repeat myself?  I think you can imagine the feeling...

Today, after taking Carson and Gabe to our new dentist, which is our neighbor (no more driving to the dentist!!!), taking Finn to DR. Rollins to check a bug bite on his foot, and heading to the store with all the boys, in the rain, we drove by Trever working on the Blvd. in his rain suit getting poured on, on the way home.  For some reason, this also is exciting.  I love driving through town, with the chance of spying him somewhere!  :)

Yesterday after I did my jump rope workout outside, I pulled some weeds.  There is a nice tree that has a lot of weeds under it with a large pile of yard debris and I was thinking how nice that tree would be in the summer, with a nice moss/grass area under it...so I need to work on that, once we get a break in the much needed rain. 

These are just a few of the things in my life right now, that are blessing me.  What is "speaking" to you right now?

ALoHa!

Dedication and a Sweater

Today Finn got dedicated {finally}!  :)  I only have one picture to share right now.

 

Here we are with Pastor Tim, and Janice Olson.  

12.22.13

 Here are the boys before we went to church.  I love my Coster boys!  

Here are the boys wearing the same sweater from cousin Erika!  <3 p="">

Carson's pictures were taken on 12.17.07.  He was 12 months and 17 days.

Gabe's pictures were taken on 12.25.10.  He was 21 months.

Finn's pictures were taken on 12.22.13.  He is 15 months and 18 days.

Can't wait to share this special Christmas with them!  Merry Christmas!!!

Merry Christmas!

Our December so Far

We got snow!  And a lot for Ashland!  :)  The boys had a great time playing in it.  And Finn enjoyed yelling at them, and looking out the window.  12.6.13

Carson turned 7!?!  How, I don't know.  It seems like yesterday I was changing his diaper...amazing.

We took a new friend of his, Ethan, to a movie with us and then Yogurt Hut.  I want to have a big outside party in the summer for his birthday.  So, this year we just did a small outing.  And then we also went to lunch with my Grandma and mom a couple of days later. 

Hope you are enjoying this holiday season and remembering the Reason for the Season! 

Cheers.