Pressure

This post is a little bit all over the place.  Just read along if you wish.  :)

As a stay at home mom, of 3 boys, a wife, a teacher, cook, cleaner and all the rest, the majority of the time I feel like I am failing, failing at being a good mom/wife.

I am writing this because I have been thinking about a lot of different aspects over the last several weeks.  Not to get attention, or a pat on the back.  Just my thoughts of how things are for me.

There is a lot of pressure (as we all know) mostly, I think, from ourselves.  My husband doesn't hassle me if the floor isn't spotless, the boys {usually} don't complain about their clothes not being put away.  But, I feel like I have disappointed or let them and {mostly} myself down because I can't get it all done.  It is just impossible.  In the amount of hours of the day that I have with preparing food, 20 minutes of exercise  school, breaking up fights, or letting the boys play together because they actually aren't fighting, and all the rest, I just can't get it done.  I can't.  And because I can't get the house cleaned up, or the dishes done, or the floor cleaned up of crumbs, I feel like I am not doing my best.

I have a friend that has been living in Romania for the last 7 years working with YWAM (Youth with a Mission).  Just that alone, is amazing to me.  But, she and her team, have also started to get local kids into school, and helping share the love of God with the locals in their area.  Again, amazing.  She herself recently got married and is back in Ashland with her new husband to have a baby in July.  (Which I am SO EXCITED ABOUT!!!!)  But, she has been telling me lately that I am a super mom.  And my response is "ya right.  Nice try.  I am really anything but that."  Not the greatest reply!  Why do I feel like that?  Because of pressure.  I feel like I can't live up to my standards or yet alone any other "mom" standards!  I compare myself to other moms.  I'm not doing this like so and so, or I should be better at this like so and so.  

Today, at church during worship, the Lord was really moving over everyone.  The worship leader and Pastor encouraged us to talk to God.  To go to the alter and pray before Him if needed.  One of the first people I saw go to the alter was, the worship leaders son, who is about 13 and in 1 exact instant I started to cry.  My heart was crying and I was crying praying for my boys.  That they themselves at their currents ages, at 13, 17, 21, 30 and so on will just love the Lord and want to put Him first always!  My prayer this morning was for me to have the Lord's wisdom on how to help guide them and show them how to love the Lord.  Another area where I feel like I fail.

After the sermon, which was about being fisherman of men and serving the Lord in our every day lives, I realized {again} that my 3 sons are my ministry.  They are who I need to be encouraging in the Lord.  They are where I am needing to put my time and effort so that they do fall in love with the Lord and have their own relationships with Him.  I pray that I can do that.  I pray that they will love their youth group like I did.  I pray they will always be involved in their church.  I pray that they will continue to have friends that love the Lord and who want to also put Him first.

I think, today, I realized how scary (being a parent really is) and how easy it can be to go down the "what if" road.  What if they rebel?  What if they don't like church?  What if...blah blah blah.  BUT!  God is more powerful than all of those what ifs.  He is our awesome God who does miracles, and who can help keep His children where they need to be!  He is the mighty God who breaks strongholds!  He is an awesome God, who I know will help me do the right thing with my kiddos.

I guess that is about it for now.  :)  Hope you are enjoying your Sunday.  We are cozied up in our house as it is dumping sheets of rain on and off right now!  Crazy spring weather!

ALoHa! 

Dedication and a Sweater

Today Finn got dedicated {finally}!  :)  I only have one picture to share right now.

 

Here we are with Pastor Tim, and Janice Olson.  

12.22.13

 Here are the boys before we went to church.  I love my Coster boys!  

Here are the boys wearing the same sweater from cousin Erika!  <3 p="">

Carson's pictures were taken on 12.17.07.  He was 12 months and 17 days.

Gabe's pictures were taken on 12.25.10.  He was 21 months.

Finn's pictures were taken on 12.22.13.  He is 15 months and 18 days.

Can't wait to share this special Christmas with them!  Merry Christmas!!!

Does your Love Endure?

Yesterday at church we read from Joshua 5:13-6.  About the battle of Jericho and Joshua obeying God by marking around the walls for 7 days.  Pastor Tim was saying that after Joshua was told what to do to win the battle, that the men might have questioned the marching just a bit.  But, we need to remember that often times, things don't make sense to us, but it always will work out with prayer and faith in the Lord.  We have to remember that to not ever lose faith in the Lord!

We had worship after the teaching and some of the words in these two songs were just so touching to me.  

I Breathe You in God, Brian and Katie Torwalt

The presence of the Living God
Satisfies the depths of my heart
And all of me I change when you came
And I'm led free by Your glory and grace
And I breathe You in, God
Cos You are there all around me
(repeat)

The kindness of Your love's pure light
Pierces through the darkest of all night
And everything is possible now
For God is here
And God is good

[CHORUS]
And You are good, God
For You are good to me
(repeat)

[BRIDGE]
And when I don't understand
I will choose You
(repeat)
And when I don't understand
I will choose to love You, God

And when I don't understand
I will choose You
(repeat)
And when I don't understand
I will choose to love You, God

[CHORUS]
And You are good, God
For You are good to me
(repeat)

[End]
Its my privilege
To worship You
To worship

For You are good, God
For You are good to me
(repeat)

The words in this song that seem so powerful to me are
"The kindness of Your love's pure light, Pierces through the darkest of all night, And everything is possible now, For God is here, And God is good"

"And when I don't understand, I will choose You, And when I don't understand, I will choose to love You, God" and also
"And You are good, God, For You are good to me."

The amount that God loves us is just amazing to me! It is so nice to be reminded of His great love and how good He really is!  We have to remember to be faithful and true to Him, so that He can bless us and do things that we might not understand all of the time.

The One Who Saves, Hillsong

Come join the song, lift your voice
As heaven and earth give praise
Fall to your knees, at the feet
Of the Son of The One True God
Turn from old ways, lift your eyes
For the kingdom of God is here
Open your heart, offer all
For Jesus Christ is here
Oh now

We have found our hope
We have found our peace
We have found our rest
In the One who Loves
He will light the way
He will lead us home
As we offer all
To the One who saves us

Call on the Name, that is hope
Jesus the Son of God
Lord over all, He is good
And His mercy endures
Always

His love endures
Forever His love endures
Forever His love endures
Forever and ever

And this song is the last part.   "His love endures, Forever His love endures, Forever His love endures Forever and ever."  I know being a friend, daughter, wife and mom that my love does not endure forever and ever.  I would love to say it does,  but at times, it really doesn't.  But to know that the Creator of this world, loves us always is just amazing!  No matter what we have done, or are going to do today or 10 years from now, He loves us!  FOREVER!  Do you understand that?  He loves me FOREVER!  Praise Him!

Hope you have a blessed May!

Aloha.

Church now, Appreciated Later

For about the last month or so, I have been going to Ashland Christian Fellowship for worship on Wednesday nights. On a side note, there are some people who prepare dinner for anyone who wants to eat before the Wednesday night 6:30 service. I gotta say thanks to them, because they are blessing us with the ease of getting to church earlier, and getting dinner in our bellies! And I don't know about you, but I love it when food is prepared for me and my fam! :)

While the boys and I were looking for Grandma, a gal that knows me from growing up in church said, "you look so happy! And you are doing such a great job. And in about 20 years, there will be two gals that are very thankful for what you are doing." (Meaning, getting my family and I out the door will not only benefit us now, but benefit two gals that Carson and Gabe will meet one day). That really blessed me. Things like that aren't often voiced, or spoken about.

I know we (or maybe I should just speak for myself) can get really carried away with things in our daily lives. Laundry, dishes, projects, work, exercise, the list can go on and on. Some days just trying to get through the day seems like a miracle in and of it's self. To think about what I am teaching my boys now, and how it will affect their whole life and the gal's that they end up marrying is a bit on the huge side! But, it is something that I rarely think about. So, thank you for the reminder (*gal that I saw while I was growing up at ACF, whose name I should know*) that all this hard work, of getting the boys to church on Sundays, and to AWANA and to Wed. night worship, is going to pay off and be meaningful, not only now, but a ways down the road as well.

I pray you and your family are healthy, well and happy! Enjoy your autumn, Christmas will be here in less than 2 months!

Aloha.

A Reminder

This last Sunday we headed to Yreka for church. My sisters step-dad, Guy (and Z's mom Debbie) have started their own little "non-church" church/group. Their heart is to do be the hands and feet of Jesus. There are many songs that talk about that. That is what we are called to do. Not just go to church and sit with our friends and family, but to tell people about the Lord. Show them and tell them about the love Jesus has for them! I think this is something that can be easily forgotten. We get so busy with spouses, children, work, chores, meals...it goes on and on. We have to stop and remember to share the Good News!

I know I needed this reminder. Thank you Guy!

Aloha.

Bravo Bravo!

Church was amazing today! Here is the link to listen to it once they have it up. The first part of church was touched by the Paradosi Ballet Company. They performed a lovely story called Commissioned: A Christmas Story.

This piece is a 40 minute Christmas production about Mary and Joseph, and how they were commissioned to be the parents of Christ. The beautifully orchestrated music includes excerpts from the motion picture soundtrack "Chocolat". This is a unique story that brings to life what might have been the history behind the calling placed on Mary and Joseph's lives. Commissioned is a one of a kind program that will leave you amazed at the love of our God and His desire to send a Savior.

Part of the story showed how Mary's friends reacted to her going to have a baby. To say the least, they were not nice to her. After they left and had had baby Jesus they had this lovely scene where Joseph, Mary and baby Jesus (he was a real baby in the show and was put in a wooden bassinet) where kneeling under a large wood cross. The other gals were dancing while a beautiful recording was played. It spoke about how baby Jesus needs to rest tonight because he was entering a world that would hate Him. To rest his sweet baby hands because he would be King, but would never have gold or silk. He would use his hands to heal people with leprosy. To rest his mouth, because God's word would be spoken out of it. To rest his baby feet, because he would walk and share God's love with many people.

It was just lovely. As I sat there crying, all I could think about was how God, the Father, knowingly and willingly gave His one and only Son for me. So that I could join him in heaven for all eternity! As a mom, I can't even being to comprehend how God felt with knowing that His Son was going to be put on a cross. It just amazes me. It is just mind boggling. I can't comprehend that love he has for strangers.

I know we are all busy with cards, gifts and cooking, remember as this Christmas Season is here, why we are celebrating. The greatest gift ever to be given is Jesus being born into this world, to save me and you. He loves you and wants to have a relationship with you this day.

I wish I could show you the ballet show from church. You can look at their site and if you get a chance, go see them! They are amazing!

Have a very Merry Christmas! Remember Jesus is the Reason for the Season.

We love you!

Emotional Church

Today the tears were flowing! Goodness.

There were a couple of families at church who had loved one go to be with the Lord this last week. Yes, there is celebration that they are home, but my heart just aches for the loss that they will feel.

Last week at church there was a special tithing event. The church asked everyone to give a days worth of their salary to a group called Convoy of Hope. The goal was to raise $10,000. What ever we raised, it would be able to be quadrupled with the help of partners and inexpensive food. So, that $10,000 would end up being worth $40,000. Well, the church didn't raise $10,000. It raised $20,000! Multiply that by 4 and you have $80,000 going to feed starving kids around the world. Praise Him! God is so good! Did you know that every 6 seconds a child dies of starvation? You can help and get involved.

Today's topic was how the body of Christ is called, according to the Scriptures, to help orphans and widows. There is a new organization in Jackson County called Heart With a Mission (HWAM). The founder, Kevin, spoke today for a couple of minutes, and boy oh boy! The tears were flowing (again!). He spoke about how teenage kids are getting dropped off by their parents who don't or can't raise them at this point. Kids are asking him why no one loves them. Heart breaking things! I encourage you, if you can to get involved and help as you are led. There are almost 2,000 teenagers in this area who are homeless.

So, I was making many trips to the bathroom to try and pull myself together. I am so proud to be a part of Bethel Church and hear how God moves and works in the area where I live.

Aloha!

Touching Song

Church was so great this morning! Amazing. Very touched by the Lord. The teaching was from Psalm 103. It was about how we need to be thankful. The Lord has promised us that He forgives all our sins and heals all our diseases (Psalm 103:3). We just have to be thankful and Praise the Lord, O my soul (Psalm 103:22).

We sang this song below today. "It's Your Love." The lines that hit me, are:
Our proof is scarred on hands that bled
That we were worth every nail

The Lord died, and He believes that you were worth every nail. How rich is that? God loves us so much, it amazes me!


Verse 1:
Upon the hill on Calvary
He came from Heaven’s throne
Our fallenness and mercy meet
Where blood and water flow

Verse 2:
What grace divine what selflessness
That Christ would bear the weight
Our proof is scarred on hands that bled
That we were worth every nail

Chorus:
And all the praise and glory to God
We sing Hallelujah sing Hallelujah
For the King has carried the cross
He is risen from the grave

Verse 3:
Beyond the tomb to holy skies
He rose in victory
And bridged for us the great divide
His life is our liberty

Chorus x2

Bridge:
It’s Your love
It’s Your love
It’s Your love
That has saved me

It’s Your blood
It’s Your blood
It’s Your blood
That has cleaned me

Hope you enjoy your Sunday! Aloha.

Wounded Warrior

This week at church the title of the teaching was "Wounded Warrior." All about how to heal from a very hard time in your life. It was really good. I know that people I love are going through some things that, basically just suck, but there is HOPE. HOPE in the LORD. He is a God of love, peace and joy. His strength can help us, if we will only allow Him too.

I encourage you, if needed, to take a listen to this teaching.

Here is the LINK.
Select "Click Here for Sermon List."
Then click on the 6.6.10, Wounded Warrior teaching.

Enjoy!