Saturday, April 4, 2009

The first time

We went on our first family walk today. To the post office, with a stop by Trev's office. It was very nice to get out. My lower stomach muscles are pretty achy. I am happy to have done it, I look forward to many more spring walks.

Tonight Trev put Carson down (as the time happens to be that Gabe wants to eat during Carson's bed time). Usually when they are done Carson asks for me. So, tonight I went in there and he was talking in these full sentences while we were praying. I was looking at his big blue eyes and long eye lashes and stroking his blond hair and wondering when he grew up and got to be such a big boy. I gave him a kiss good night and left. I went into the living room and told Trev I miss Carson. He asked me something (don't even know what) and I couldn't talk, I got all choked up and started to cry. I feel like I haven't seen him much in this last week and a half. I know I have, we have been home together every day, but it is just different. I knew it would be, and I know it will be different again once Gabe is on a more regular program. My heart was sad for a bit to think about how I am not able to do all the things I was doing with him. Getting him dressed in the mornings, picking him up and giving him standing hugs. My little love bug is so big! Didn't realize how heavy he was too until holding the 7.11 pound Gabe. Carson is my little trooper and doing a great job with Gabe. We are so blessed to have 2 wonderfully sweet boys, as Trever reminded me.

Carson loves to give Gabe kisses, lay next to him on the couch, and sing to him. He doesn't like to hear Gabe cry. I think it stresses Carson out. He usually makes some type of noise. I am reminding him that is how he talks to mama and papa. He can't say things so he has to cry to tell me when he is hungry.

1 comment:

Anders Family said...

I feel the same way sometimes when Elijah is talking and telling me stories or about his dreams, it is amazing how big he's getting, he is such a big boy, growing up so fast! You will soon be doing all the things you used to do with him, I love mealtimes right now I love looking at my boys sitting at the table together, it is so cute! Hang in there! Those first few weeks are trying, lack of sleep, trying to get a schedule and routine down between both kiddos, it gets easier! Love you! :)